Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just want someone who will love me for the a$$hole that I am ;)
Doing pretty good so far on my 1500 calorie a day diet as long as I don`t eat anything else today and tomorrow.
I hope I never get to the age when my body can forecast the weather.
I always carry a lighter in case I end up at an impromptu concert...or need to set someone`s house on fire. Either way, I`m prepared.
I just want to buy an old Mercedes Benz,so people will think I have been rich for a long time.
I don`t exactly have a "to do" list. I have what you might call "If I ever log off Facebook and feel like getting around to doing it" list.
I wonder how long Iβd be on hold if my call wasnβt important to them...
When googling something, I always use Caps Lock so that the people from Google know it`s urgent.
looong and hard, yep thats my pencil.
It`s a good idea to test your immune system from time to time by eating a gas station hot dog
POLITICS; from `poly` meaning `many and `Tics` meaning blood-sucking creatures. Just sayin`
Pretty busy today. Was only able to check my phone 1400 times.
βThatβs funnyβ is something I say when I canβt even fake a laugh.
You want to see Americans become activists? Cancel a TV show they like.
I just made my first snow angel!! ... Ok fine.. I got bored, got drunk and then passed out in the snow, whatever!