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umm umm u know that school where i got the degree from
I can´t wait until Weight Watchers comes out with a beer.
I told the monster in my closet that coming out of of there would make him gay, haha problem solved ....
Long story short, I love summaries.
Condom commercials should just be 30 seconds of crying babies pooping and vomiting all over themselves.
I woke up this morning and my "check liver" light was on.
If it`s true that we are here on earth to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
Lord, help me be the person my psychiatrist medicates me to be.
Raise your hand if you have already spent your daylight savings
I`m not necessarily saying that I am or am not a super hero, but I do occasionally stand with my hands on my hips.
Waldo’s mom must be worried sick.
He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
I think there should be a mandatory test at 16 that you have to pass and if not, you get neutered or spayed.
Going to the skate park to watch people fall.
If you walk a mile in my shoes the least you can do is leave a pair of yours to wear.