Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The first step to admitting you have a problem is having a problem.
I made a chicken salad today... The little bastard didn`t even eat it.
I`m lost, no wait..... Yep, lost for sure
You know what the cheapest meat is? Deer balls ... They`re under a buck
Whoever left me in charge of all this booze is going to have a lot to answer for tomorrow.
I’m not the friend you put on speaker phone.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but my boss just gets mad when I don`t come into work.
If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, you know you have small boobs
Marriage: where all the excitement, laughter and sex is gone but she’s still there.
Stop, drop, and roll isn`t just an effective fire safety tip, but it is also an interesting way to get out of a boring conversation.
The best thing about having male genitals is sharing it with people who don`t.
Facebook keeps telling me people are following me. But, every time I look behide me there`s nobody there? Why does facebook keep lying to me?
I think there should be a mandatory test at 16 that you have to pass and if not, you get neutered or spayed.
Keep it up and I`ll make sure u end up on a milk carton.
Boyfriend: Why do you watch the Food Network it doesn’t make your cooking any better? Girlfriend: Why do you watch porn?