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My kids keep bugging me about dinner even after I told them I already ate...
My wife said we should try some role reversal in bed last night. So I said I had a headache.
Today one of my colleague told...... Buddy let get into serious studies... exams are on our heads.... And then both of us continued to chat with other people on fb for hours
Age has its advantages. Too bad I can`t remember what they are.
Mrs Bieber.... WHY U NO USE CONDOM?
Recipes sound good until you realize that you don`t have $846 worth of spices in your house.
Remember the good old days when LOL meant "Laugh out loud" and not "I can`t think of a good reply"?
Tis the season to throw your diet out the window.
I`ve come to terms with the fact that I will never experience leftover pizza.
Today is the 1st anniversary of the end of the world. Can you believe it`s been a year since the world ended? Time sure flies when it`s the apocalypse.
You know that 200-foot high expansion bridge you drove over today? Just remember that it was built by the lowest bidder.
When someone tells me I`m going to hell, I`m like "yeah, duh, I work there part time as a tour guide!"
My mom just sent me a friend request on Facebook! Finally I can use that "I`m not your friend I`m your mother" speech to my advantage.
A small child called 911 upon seeing a zebra because he thought a horse escaped from jail
One man’s potato is another man’s vodka.