Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The good thing about Facebook is if someone gets on your nerves enough, you can make them cease to exist in your world and you don`t even have to hide a body.
Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It`s like Facebook in real life.
+ if you wish you could record your dreams.
Just saw a cop pull over a U-Haul truck. I think he is trying to bust a move.
I have cat-like reflexes. If I hear a loud noise, I keep napping.
You`ve got to be twins. You`re too stupid to be one person.
It`s like my bank account doesn`t understand me at all.
I was shocked when I heard the local Radio Shack is closing. Mostly because I had no idea we had one.
It`s about time the government enacted a law that keeps dumb and stupid people away from playing any role in society.
The ski racks on my car say Iβm fun, adventurous, and canβt figure out how to take the ski racks off my car.
My wife is a perfectionist but she made an exception in my case.
Home Alone (1990, Comedy) Two burglars attempt to murder an abandoned 8-year-old child
Not doing anything with my life is surprisingly time consuming.
There`s a time and a place for alcohol ... In my hand and now.
Language is cool because it`s just a bunch of sounds, but put them in the right order & you can make someone cry or you can order tacos.