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(For women only) Wants to go on the Maury Povich show and hear, "You are NOT the mother!"
I don’t have an attitude problem… You have a problem with my attitude… That’s your problem, not mine.
Calm down, take a deep breath and hold it for about 20 minutes.
It`s never too late to follow your dreams. Unless your dream is to be a child actor, in which case yes, it`s too late.
Men are trained from birth that happiness comes from either boobs or a bottle.
You know what’s huge in Japan? ..Sumo wrestlers. ;)
havung sex in a elevator is wrong on so many levels....no mattet what floor your on
Some mornings I feel like leaving my coffee until its cold enough that I can just pour it directly into my eyes.
They used to be called "jumpolines" until you jumped on one...
POLITICS; from `poly` meaning `many and `Tics` meaning blood-sucking creatures. Just sayin`
It doesn’t matter how many signs I put up around the office, HR said high five a co-worker in the face with a shovel day isn’t a thing.
Do you ever wish that you could just unmeet someone.
I went to the store to buy some comdoms and the cashier asked me If I needed a bag ? "I replied No she`s not that ugly"
If banks were as fiercely regulated as McDonalds breakfast cut off time, there’d be no problems.
Women and children first because men deserve a little quiet time before the ship sinks.