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According to a recent survey, 98% of people responded with `Go away.`
I always carry a lighter in case I end up at an impromptu concert...or need to set someone`s house on fire. Either way, I`m prepared.
I swear this is the last time I watch Groundhog Day
If only my ceiling fan could hold my weight, then I would never be bored again.
You know its bad when you feel like your life is being directed by Quentin Tarantino.
just watched my first full episode of jersey shore... #ashamed of new entertainment
I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.
I`m currently writing a book about my love of dogs and gardening. It`s called b*tches and hoes
Wow....turns out I`m NOT a Ninja. That really hurt.
Farts are like children. I`m proud of mine and disgusted by yours.
True self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn.
Is a bath relaxing for Michael Phelps, or does he just feel like he is at work?
I just don`t think a partridge in a pear tree would make a great gift
I`ve finally decided to do something about my weight. Lie.
I can`t believe these women are just walking around with yoga mats like a game of yoga might just break out at any moment