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From this point on, all postings of pictures of waffles will be considered a personal invitation.
Pretending to tolerate other people is exhausting.
Before I had kids I never really reflected on life`s little mysteries. For example, why is my toothbrush under the couch?
So.. who else is sleeping naked tonight?
You are wasting your time reading this status.
If things always went according to a plan…. life wouldn’t be interesting.
when a girl says "whatever" what she really means "I hope you get shot, fall off a bridge, get raped by a shark, and then eaten by it
It`s Sunday or as I like to call it, "No pants day".
It’s not real love unless you leave your phone in plain sight overnight.
To hell with the "dislike" button! i think we need a "who cares" button, a "WTF" button and a "STFU!" button. just saying.... Oh and a "lol" button because i just get tired of writing it! lol!
Every time my daughter drinks juice she says "cheers" so.... no, not looking forward to parent teacher conferences.
It must suck when billionaires wake up feeling like a million bucks.
If you surround your house in police tape, the odds of you being robbed drops dramatically.
Fitness? More like, fitness whole pizza in my mouth.
It`s time to admit that as a species, we are just not ready for 4-way stops