Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
wants to remind you this Halloween, that as a general rule, don`t solve riddles that open portals to Hell.
Me- We need eggs. Hub- How many? Me- One. See if they will sell you just one.
I used to like my neighbours, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi
There’s always that one person that catches you doing something weird.
How do you know if your girlfriend is getting fat?...She fits into your wife`s clothes.
( )( ) =( `-` )= <( . )> ("`)("`) bunny!!
Hot singles in your area are dating each other while you sit alone staring at your phone.
The most powerful I ever feel is waving pedestrians to walk in front of my car. “Go forth, and trust that I will not kill you.”
Every time I get a paper cut, I know somewhere a tree is laughing.
The toughest thing in business is minding your own.
You never know how dirty a song’s lyrics are…until you hear a child sing them.
I always carry a jellyfish in case I need to pee on someone.
"User Friendly" is just another way of saying stupid.......
Dear Ninja Turtles, Why are you wearing masks? There are no other giant, mutated turtles. No one`s gonna mistake a different turtle for you.
If you`re going to stalk me at least notice when I`m running low on toilet paper & change the roll.