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i joined new gym yesterday. i did 3 sets of selfies on each machine
Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, get wasted all the time and have the time of your life!
People that walk behind cars get exhausted
There are now 4 sides to every story. Yours, mine, the truth & the Internets version.
Mythbusters is basically my childhood with a much larger explosives budget.
I prefer not to think before I speak. I like being just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.
If a single teacher can’t teach all the subjects then how could you expect a single student to learn all subjects.
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words “The” and “IRS” together it spells “Theirs.”
I`m going to be the first person to land on the sun! I know what your thinking and thats why I will be going at night.
I stopped paying my car payments to concentrate on my dream of appearing on a Repo show.
Why does whoop-ass only come in a can?
I can’t afford Disney World so we go to the biggest hill on my street and my kids wait an hour before I roll them down in my office chair.
I ordered a new GPS unit, but it got lost in the mail.
For a guy who makes as many bad decisions as I do, I feel like I should be having more fun.
You`re the type of person who didn`t rewind the Blockbuster VHS...