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Halloween Drinking Game: Drink every-time an Elsa (from Frozen) visits your house.
The word "Lovers" bums me out unless it`s between the words "Meat" and "Pizza".
All women want is to have a relationship with an intelligent man. The only problem is, intelligent men don’t get into relationships.
This girl says she wants me to butter her muffin.. I don’t even know what that means but now I’m hungry.
OMG, you`re huge! There`s no way you`ll fit inside me.- My clothes probably.
I finally found a simple and easy way to deal with my weight problem. I threw my scale out.
This weekend, a woman in colorado gave birth inside a Wal Mart. Apparently, its the first thing found in a Wal Mart not made in China.
My girlfriend left the lights on, on her Smart Car last night. This morning I had to jump start it with my Android.
Jokes on you hot chick at the bar who gave me a radio station`s phone number I just won Harlem Globetrotter tickets and a Bud Light poncho.
If pigs really could fly I bet their wings would taste delicious.
I use these ( ... ) a lot. For which, I believe, the technical term is Dotty Dot Dots.
I went for window shopping , and guest what , I bought four windows....
Finally got this fire hydrant open, but there was like, the opposite of fire inside
I’m trisexual, as in, I’ll try to have sex with you.
I got Mood Poisoning. Must have been something I hate.