Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t wanna make this weird but that`s just kinda how I do things.
No I don`t think you`re stupid, I just think you have real bad luck when it comes to thinking
Basically the way it works is I tell myself I`m not going to eat too much and then I eat too much.
So in between the 4 seconds that I missed your call and managed to call ya back, you`ve fallen off the face of the earth?
As I get older my tastes are changing, for instance I used to not like brussels sprouts but now I don`t like people.
It only takes 2 ingredients to make a baby. Does that not blow your mind. Like at least there should be some flour or something.
A recent survey of one person reveals that 100% of me thinks I should leave work early.
Secret Admirers are just stalkers with good PR.
Imagine how much faster Olympic sprinters could run if they saw their wives going through their phones at the finish line
When you were little, “I’m going to tell your mom” was the scariest sentence ever.
The internet is just another location for people to be wrong about things.
Admit it. When you go to the zoo, the first thing you look at is the Camel`s foot.
If history has taught us anything, it`s that reheated french fries are gross.
The best way to let people remember you is to `borrow money from them`
Halloween is great because kids just show up at your door and hold out bags of candy for you to steal