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In marijuana`s defense, I`m lazy as sh!t completely sober too.
I’m in my dentist’s waiting room practicing my lies about flossing.
Has anyone ever seen a gorilla in the mist? Some of the local drivers struggle to see my car in perfect daylight conditions, so I doubt that they`d spot a Gorilla in limited visibility!!!!!
Mary, mary quit contrary, watched their garden thrive. The cops found seed of a very odd weed; Now they`s doing three to five.
New Years - the only day where its socially acceptable to drink this early.
I`m not homophobic, I love my house!
I can read Spanish, Chinese, Russian and Italian. As long as it`s written in english.
Facebook- to help future generations discover if there`s ever been any mental illness in the family.
Anyone want to be fake engaged for two hours so we can eat cake samples?
Girl:How do u feel? Boy:With your hands
The longer I`m left unattended in the Drs office the more tongue depressors I can lick and put back in the jar..... Just sayin
Tomorrow I`m going to start using big words to sound smart....Sorry, I meant utilizing gargantuan idioms to simulate intelligence
Lazy Rule #23 :No Shower Is Needed, If your Not Going Anywhere...
"User Friendly" is just another way of saying stupid.......
I`m not interested in anything that requires 5 hours of energy.