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The roof of my mouth just healed from that Hot Pocket I had in 2003.
Telling a girl to calm down is like trying to baptize a cat.
I have one question about Insanity, "Are we there yet"?
I am not looking for a one night stand, 2 hours will be plenty enough.
All the coffee beans in South America can`t make me a morning person.
Cliff diving? No thanks. I get all of my near death thrills by rolling my eyes when my wife asks me to move my feet while she vacuums.
Go to China on honeymoon. Get intimate with Husband. Tell child that they were "Made in China."
Helped my kid pick out a "famous past explorer" for a class assignment. Hope no one else in her class picks Internet Explorer 6.
He who laughs last didn´t get it.
Apologising does not mean you are wrong and the other person is right, it just means you value your relationship more than your ego.
My new year`s resolution is that donuts have no calories.
How I sing it: "A, B, C, D, E, F, G,....H, I, J, K, A LEMON OH PEE!....Q, R, S....T, U, V....W, X....Y, and Z."
all joking aside, think how many babies might be created tonight on valentines day
Handy tip for new parents : Wake up your baby by gently resting your head on a pillow.
If only there was a way to voice a highly uneducated opinion to thousands of people on a regular basis