Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just deserts: When a cashier hands you dollar bills back as change. Hold them up to the light like they do when you pay them.
PRINCIPAL: are you the new english teacher? TEACHER: yes i are.
I`m like a kid in a candy store. I can`t afford anything.
Why do people who insult themselves get mad when you agree with them?
Finally got my Bon Jovi Sat Nav working... Wooahh we`re half way there.
In honor of St. Patrick`s Day, I`m going to create a hybrid of a four leaf clover and poison ivy and give myself a rash of good luck
My new years resolution was to lose 30 pounds by the end of summer. I`ve only got 40 pounds to go.
I have a million dollar idea that I will share with the first million people to send me a dollar.......
Life is just better when you’re laughing.
I was halfway through a recipe when I read the instruction "Now chill in fridge for at least two hours". I only managed 30 minutes. I was freezing.
I wonder where superman changes now that there are no more phone booths
If a cannibal is late for dinner, do they give him the cold shoulder?
The awkward moment when you type HO instead of HI.
I`m off and running like a wounded herd of turtles on valium
Sometimes you just need to do something stupid while sober so that people will leave you alone about your drinking.