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I started to question my sanity this morning, It told me to "Shut up and chew through the straps....). I was free by noon......Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
I`ll never understand why single women waste so much time on dating websites when there are so many eligible bachelors right here in this adult bookstore.
I wish we had staff meetings in the garden. The plants would`ve love the fertilizer.
Not to brag, but I don`t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.
Started a new exercise routine yesterday. So far I`ve only missed one day.
You question whether you are getting old when your barber asks if your eyebrows need trimming, and you know it when he does it without asking
Weird is just a side effect of being awesome.
If I pat you on the back, there`s a 99% chance that I`m only using you as a napkin
Nothing in the world is more expensive than a women who’s free for the weekend
The worst thing about parallel parking is witnesses...
Was wondering...when you have a mandatory meeting at work, why do the presenters always thank you for being there?
Despite what people may tell you, its the fat that makes you look fat... NOT the dress!! lol
You’ll never get the same results running in place as you will running from a lion.
Sometimes my brain is like the bermuda triangle...Information goes in then it`s never found again..
I’m so old, I can remember going through a whole day without taking a picture of anything.