Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When your coworker tells you they are getting a divorce a high five is not the right answer. Or so I`ve been told. Twice now.
I will do a lot of things but admitting I`m cold to my wife who told me to bring a warmer jacket isn`t one of them...
Just once, I would like to see a person on a daytime talk show say, "dad was a good parent...mom was a good parent...the problem is me, I`m just a sh!thead."
is tring to fool people into thinking I have a social life by going offline from Facebook for a few hours.
My 6 yo just chugged a bottle of water in 30 seconds. Now I`m fearful of her college days.
If I throw a stick will you leave?
We should have a way of telling people their breath stinks without hurting their feelings like: “Well I’m bored, let’s go brush our teeth.”
Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world.
I`m not "rich" ... But, actually, it depends on how you define wealth. If you`re talking about money, relationships, or happiness, then no still
If it doesn’t make you afraid to go to the bathroom the next day, it’s not really hot sauce.
I don’t drink water, unless it’s been through a brewery first.
The irony of all this is, the internet was created to save us time...
Home: Where I can look ugly and enjoy it.
Chickens: The only animals you eat before they`re born AND after they`re dead.
I hate it when I tell someone I`ll be there in 10 minutes, but they continue to call me every half-hour anyway