Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If there`s one thing that I`ve learned it`s, that I should have learned way more than one thing.
Drunk is when you feel sophisticated but can’t pronounce it.
My new bumper sticker ... "Watch out for the idiot behind me!"
With Halo 4, Black Ops II and Assasins Creed III, I think November might register the lowest teen pregnancy rates in a long time!
The other day my son asked me who picks up the seeing eye dog`s poop.
Bad news, guys. Throwing a cat through a wall doesn`t make a funny, cat-shaped hole
I hate it when my cat leaves a dead Smart Car on my doorstep.
The only cat like reflex I possess is turning and staring at the wall when you talk to me.
I got kicked out of my Community Theater group when the director asked to see me Limp. How was I to know he was talking about walking?
Have you ever noticed how people who play candy crush are always saying they need a life?
I wouldn`t mind all the penis enlargement emails if they weren`t coming from my wife.
I’ve thought about running away as an adult way more than I did as a child.
Bands who can`t afford a smoke machine should hire my girlfriend to cook at their concert
Saw these three things on a corner, in this order: Liquor store, gun store, bank. What could possibly go wrong with that?
I don`t like people who hate certain group of people. But I get along very well with people who hate everybody equally.