Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
So what was the best thing before sliced bread?
I`d swim across the ocean for you.. Lol, Just kidding. There`s f*cking sharks in there.
I`ll take "who the f*ck would know that" for $600, Alex.
According to physics heat makes matter expand.....therefore I don`t have a weight problem....I`m just hot
My favorite part of Summer is the booze. Coincidentally, that`s my favorite part of the other 3 seasons, too.
When I was your age we had to open all doors by ourselves ... None of them knew we were coming.
wants my 260 FB friends to know I love you all..except #193
That very akward moment when Shakirah`s hips lie!
Worrying: a waste of imagination.
Of course I can keep a secret. It’s the people I tell it to who can’t.
I`d like to give a shoutout to all the people who are going through an identity crisis, you know who you are... I think.
The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat…It’s watching what other people eat.
My favorite holiday spirit is poured over ice.
Dear Stomach: You`re bored, not hungry. Shut up.
My weight loss goal is to not care about the crumbs at the bottom of a Pringles can.