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When they say: "Wow, you`re really photogenic." What they mean: "Wow, this looks nothing like how ugly you actually are."
Ah Friday my second favorite F Word
If you’re gonna flip out on your Facebook, don’t delete it all the next day. Some of us still want to share your meltdown with our friends.
Akward Moment Is When Your Twin Sister Calls You Ugly(:
Hey, I found your nose. It was in my business.
I ate too much salad over the weekend so I`m going on an Oreo cleanse today.
I have the same thought when I watch horror flicks as when I watch my wedding videos. I should have known who the psycho was much sooner.
I was a huge tomboy. Like, I had barbies, but only because my ninja turtles needed bitches.
You know you`ve picked the right friends if no one has nominated you for the ice bucket challenge
Having sex is like doing FRACTIONS... It`s IMPROPER for the larger one to be on top.
A few bad decisions really liven up a boring day.
People who describe things as “better than sex” are having the wrong kind of sex.
She said there`s no difference between turkey bacon and regular bacon, and now I`m supposed to just "forget about it"?
Stop calling them rednecks. The term is NASCAR-Americans. Y`all.
Kinda funny how the Mayans said we were all gonna die in 2012, but they all disappeared way before us.