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Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is a complete idiot.
I`ll be taking my time and yours,, thank you....... -- all 80 yr. old drivers
Is it wrong to drop off drunks at houses that aren`t theirs?
I hate that feeling when you feel you wrote something good on facebook and then nobody likes your status. Depressing... :(
Guys are like bears, if you lay very still they’ll paw at you a bit then give up and go look for food.
I hate it when people call dogs "stupid". I mean, when was the last time you saw a dog step in human poop?
My inner child has a bottle of vodka in one hand, a whip in the other and a broken halo sticking out of her back pocket.
I hate it when people rub things in my face... unless it`s two boobs.
Pointing out the food you just dropped on the floor to your dog because you`re too lazy to clean it.
They should make Vodka ChapStick
Fun Fact about me: The drunker I get, the more karate I know.
If you ring my door bell you better be the pizza guy or a sexy naked lady ... with a pizza.
What did the crop say to the farmer? Stop picking on me
Just saw a coyote next to the highway... I hope this tunnel ahead isn`t just painted on.
My facebook has been rated PG for Poor Guy