Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Hendrix didn`t need to twerk on stage. He performed the old fashioned way, relying only on his musical talents and near lethal doses of LSD.
Music that is meant to be played at a reasonable volume is completely pointless.
My friends are the kind that would flirt with the fireman while my house was burning down.
Iām tired of things costing money.
Just found out I`m pregnant. At least that`s what this expectant mother sign for my parking spot says.
The ideal man doesn`t smoke, doesn`t drink, doesn`t do drugs, doesn`t swear, doesn`t get angry, doesn`t exist
My life is much more fun and interesting when I`m single... Problem is I can`t remember any of it.
Lately, my furnace has run so much I nicknamed it "Forest".
BESTFRIEND: the one you can get mad at only for a short period because you have important stuff to tell them.
I see subway employees are still having their "how much lettuce can you fit on a sandwich" contest.
College is expensive, BUT your student ID saves $3 at the movies. So really it pays for itself if you go to the theater 30,000 times.
I just wanted to send you a quick note letting you know that you`re in my inappropriate thoughts.
Why are police men so strong? Because they hold up traffic.
Women with big breasts... ...can get a taxi on the worst days ...have a neat place to carry spare change ...have always been the center of the arts (art) ...make jogging a spectator sport ...can keep a magazine dry while laying in the tub ...have more negotiating power (with men shorter than them) ...usually can find leftover popcorn after a movie ...can always carry a little extra ...always float better ...know where to look first for lost earrings ...rarely lack for a slow dance partner ...hav
There is no such thing as something looking "Too good to eat"