Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"Don`t try this at home" encourages people to try it at another`s home instead.
Wouldn`t it be great to revive the old "Mutual Of Omaha`s Wild Kingdom" show, but with a new setting? Like a WalMart Store in Kentucky?
I`m just a man standing in front of a woman, who is standing in front of another man who is in front of another woman in line at Taco Bell.
We can`t all be princesses, somebody has to clap as I go by. :P
Don`t do it in the Garden, they say love is blind but ur neighbor ain`t.
What is an Amish girls favourite fantasy? Two Mennonite
I wonder if the two guys arguing over r2d2 and roadrunner ever get laid.
After 6 years, is it still all Bush`s fault or has it been reduced to "Unfortunate circumstances under no one`s control"?..............
You might call it ‘whipped.’ I call it `guy who’s getting laid.’
I`ve just finished doing my hair, want to come over and mess it all up?
You think having periods is hard? ... Try being on a 24 hour killstreak on Call of Duty with itchy balls.
Saw a brand new Prius totaled on my way home from work. Still had the window sticker. That would suck... Not to crash, but to drive a Prius.
Me: Well hello again. I knew you`d be back. I seem to have that effect on people Fed Ex: Just sign here so I can leave
Only 3 more days until millions of people join the gym for a week.
Friends are like boobs. Some are real, some are fake