Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I want to cover you in expensive things…like gasoline.
Condom slogan: Wrap it in latex or she`ll get your paychecks.
Happy New Years Everyone! (I stole this status:) )
The lyrics for "hush little baby" are basically saying "I will buy you anything if you just shut the hell up"
Hummingbirds are just regular birds that can`t remember the lyrics.
The wife and I never really argue except on where to vacation. I wanna go to the beach and she wants to come with me
stupidity is a privelege entitled to everyone but you my dear are abusing this right
ROFL!!….. LOL jk i’m still in my chair.
I think I`m the drunkest person at this bed bath and beyond.
The Braille on the drive-thru ATM actually says, "Move to the passenger seat"
boss: why are you peeing on the floor? mikeski: i already filled up your coffee cup.
None of my girlfriends even know they`re dating me.
Relationship Tip for men: When a woman says, "Correct me if I`m wrong but...."Don`t do it!! It`s a trap!! DO NOT, I repeat, do not correct that woman!!!
If you boil a clown, do you get laughing stock?
You can always tell if a guy masturbates a lot by looking at his hands. If you look closely, you’ll see a wedding ring.