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To be truthful,,, I have never unrolled a sleeping bag and been able to roll it back up any smaller than the size of a garage.
My neighbor thinks I`m crazy and that I`ve been stalking her. well at least that`s what her diary says.
My husband ran for 30 minutes on the treadmill. He`s told every other person on earth and I didn`t want y`all to be out of the loop.
When I was your age, we had to walk ten miles in the snow to get drunk and have s€x.
Our sex was so good, the neighbors smoked after we finished.
If money can`t buy happiness what do you pay a hitman with?
I just met the most interesting man at the laundromat And then I realized that he can`t even afford a washer or a dryer
Marriage Tip: If your husband is watching golf, show him you`re interested by repeatedly asking "why doesn`t our lawn ever look that nice?"
Over the weekend I pulled a muscle getting off the couch to fetch more Doritos.
"People should just mind their own business," probably the funniest thing I`ve ever read on a social networking site.
Not so great minds also think alike.
WARNING::World Health Organization says radiation from cell phones may cause cancer. Please text everyone you know about this.
I feel like landlords who don’t allow dogs but DO allow children don’t know very much about children.
The Ex is bringing my kids back home. Time to strategically place the panties I bought from Victoria`s secret around the house.
Why is it called `after dark`, when it is really after light