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Apparently getting injured while in the KISS Army doesn`t make you eligible for V.A. benefits.
Am I the only one who runs up on happy couples and yells, "How could you do this to me" and then runs off crying?
At this point I`m guessing the North only won the Civil War because the South got half an inch of snow and they completely lost their minds
Success sleeps with u in private. Failure insults u in public ! Aa
And yet another year goes by with People magazine failing to recognize my beauty.
The word bed looks like a bed.
When I`m in a bathroom stall, please don`t yell "Oh my God oh my God there`s a guy in here!" Respect my privacy.
My wrinkles are all from laughter. Except those between my eyebrows. Those are my `WTF` lines and those things are deep.
They told me to never give up. Now they call me a stalker.
Oh, you fell in love?! I fell in my bathtub.
Apparently saying, "You mad, bro?" is frowned upon if you work in customer service.
Whoever convinces blind people that they need sunglasses,, is one heck of a salesman....
Depression is wanting to lay down and realizing that you are already laying down.
You couldn`t handle five minutes in my head.
Calling out your ex`s name during sex is a nice way to show your current lover that you won`t forget them after you break up.