Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
scream outloud and really fast "I won a math debate"
I wonder what "don`t touch" is in Braille.
So, all theses years I thought it was the dyer making my shirts not fit. now I`m pretty sure it the refrigerator.
Goodnight friends, strangers, pervs, weirdos and a$$holes, and anybody else I left out.
I`m beginning to think the only reason I buy bananas is to watch them die a painful death on my counter.
Are security guards at Samsung stores called Guardians of the Galaxy?
I would leave my house a LOT more if I could take the couch with me and wear my pajamas.
I made a New Years Resolution to gain 20 lbs, so I can relish in the sense of accomplishment and success!
If you play my workday backwards, it’s actually a nice story about idiots getting less and less annoying.
I hate when my friends stand so close to me when pictures are being taken. It`s like they don`t know I plan on cropping them out later.
My "check engine" light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and the engine is still there...silly light.
The problem with this generation? The cartoons suck.
Car alarms should sound like two chicks in a fight. I`d look out the window for that.
"Ah, OK. Yes. Now I see it." -Me lying to someone who`s pointing out a constellation
If banks were as fiercely regulated as McDonalds breakfast cut off time, there’d be no problems.