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I`m a good singer. Unfortunately I have a bad voice.
If I were my boss, I`d never leave my coffee cup unattended.
What did the Japanese man say to the other Japanese man? Something in Japanese,
Life would be so much better if throughout the day we encountered randomly placed Piñatas
Dear American Express, can you raise my debt ceiling?? Thx, bro.
Thank God you`ve updated your status to "Finished lunch" after you first posted "Going to lunch" I really couldn`t tolerate more suspense.
I DON`T NEED ANYONE OR ANYTHING!!! (Except for Louie...the name I`ve given this meatball sub.)
I`m not saying my doctor is young, but he just texted me "2mer is B-9, woot!"
I know I should lift weights, but those things are heavy!!
Have you ever wondered about the look on someone`s face if you hide under their bed and grab their foot in the middle of the night? Just something to think about.....goodnight!
They say you`ve got to spend money to make money. Feel like there`s some middle step I`ve been missing?
It seems racist that they call it Black Friday just because a bunch of people are trying to get into stores in the middle of the night.
insert coin to view my status
Newton`s third law of emotion. For every male action there is a female overreaction.
Just saw a coyote next to the highway... I hope this tunnel ahead isn`t just painted on.