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PLEASE - put this on your status if you know someone (or are related to someone) who has been eaten by dragons. Dragons are nearly unstoppable and, in case you didn`t know, they can also breathe fire. 93% of people won`t copy and paste this, because they have already been eaten by dragons. 6% of people are sitting in the shower armed with fire extinguishers and the remaining 1% are awesome and will re-post.
Tire rotation? Nice try, mechanic! I rotated my tires like a thousand times on the drive over here.
My internet goes out more than I do.
Rawwrrr means I love you in dinosaur. Everyone knows that, silly
Just ONCE, I`d like to look deep into your beautiful eyes, and make hot sweet love with you without some pop-up window ruining the mood.
My wife sure is picky for someone who married me.
Just did a weeks worth of cardio after walking into a spider`s web.
Hey Gotham City criminals, why isn’t the first thing on your to-do list “Unplug the Bat Signal”?
Called AA by mistake. Those drunks can`t change a tire for sh*t.
LADIES: Not all men get into a relationship just for sex. Some just need a personal chef.
I love sleep ... it’s like a Time Machine to Breakfast.
Don’t let anyone tell you how to live your life! Unless you’re an idiot. In that case, please listen carefully.
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they`re going to be when you kill them.
Studies show than men who have sex more often tend to have a longer life expectancy. See, it`s a survival thing.
You seem to have a good grip on reality. You`re new here, aren`t you?