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There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator
I got some new underwear. Well, new to me...
Don`t ever forget.. I`m always here. A l w a y s. Scrolling. Judging. Judging. Scrolling. That`s right. I see everything.
Dyslexics of the world.. UNTIE!
I`m curious: Do girls shake the gasoline nozzle when they`re taking it out of their cars too?
If things always went according to a plan…. life wouldn’t be interesting.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but my boss just gets mad when I don`t come into work.
I bought a pair of Meatloaf underwear today. On the front they say `I would do anything for love`. On the back, `But I wont do that!`
U make me wish I had more middle fingers
It`s ok to admit when you`re wrong. Just don`t tell anyone.
How about a cooking show called "Cookin crap in the Microwave".
All I`m saying is that Schwarzenegger isn`t the only one who woke up naked next to a dumpster in 1984.
Liven up any boring conversation by telling people you have a glass eye and then watch them try and figure out which one it is.
doesn`t need any help being bad but u can come along for the ride if your up for it.
Men at 25 play football. Men at 40 play tennis. Men at 60 play golf. Have you noticed that as you get older your balls get smaller?