Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Insomnia is very common. Try not to lose any sleep over it.
Checked a lot off my thought-about-doing-today list.
I made a salad with red wine vinaigrette only I left out the vinegar and the oil and ok it`s just lettuce with wine all over it. Anyhoo, I`m drunk.
there`s a fine line between "cocky" and "confidence"...and it just so happens I have perfect balance!
Silence is golden but duct tape is silver.
I don`t know if I have a stalker, but if I do could you drop off some beer? Thanks
The iPhone 6 looks pretty cool, but it still lets people leave voicemails, so they apparently haven`t worked out all the bugs yet.
The relationship was going so well until I left my phone unlocked.
When you say "9 out of 10 forest fires are caused by humans." All I hear is "there`s a bear out there that knows how to use matches."
Four words that I never want to hear: There is no food.
To all who called into work drunk today. Happy St Patrick`s Day.
I would unfriend you but I enjoy laughing at your life.
I`m disgusted by the thought of people updating their status while sitting on the toilet like I am right now.
Practising my breast stroke, so if I ever get a girlfriend I dont do it wrong...
Girls these days be like `I wanna get the Double Ristretto Venti Half-Soy Nonfat Decaf Organic Chocolate Brownie Iced Vanilla Double-Shot Gingerbread Frappuccino Extra Hot With Foam Whipped Cream Upside Down Double Blended, One Sweet`N Low and One Nutrasweet, and Ice tan look`