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Three decades of playing Tetris have apparently not improved our nation`s ability to stow overhead luggage.
I accidentally wore green today. And I probably will be drunk later but NOT because it`s St. Patrick`s Day, because it`s Monday.
Is glad Christmas is near i sure need new coloring books and crayons ..
Was building a website for women drivers ... Bloody thing kept crashing.
I`d be amazing at life if I was only asked to sit and play on the computer all day.
I sleep better naked…why can’t the flight attendant understand this?
That microwavable meal was delicious and filling! - no one ever
So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere.
I`ve been on a diet for 2 weeks and all I`ve lost is 14 days.
I feel pretty confident that if anyone ever steals my identity, they will inevitably improve my credit score…
I`m CDO. It`s like OCD but the letters are in alphabetical order. LIKE THEY SHOULD BE!!!
Man cannot live on bread alone ... hence beer and stuff.
I’m dedicating this status update to all the status-less people out there. Stay strong.
Sometimes, when dealing with people, you can`t help but stop and think, "Yup, I`m about to get my first assault charge."
Hell is having a married couple tell you a story at the same time.