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I wonder how seaworld would react if I walked in there with a fishing pole....
I saw a woman crying as she was buying tampons earlier.....must be going through a tough period in her life....
We should`ve let the guy who named oranges keep naming other stuff.
You should probably take everything I say with a grain of salt. And lime. And shot of tequila.
When I think of you I touch myself ... On my temples ... You give me a migraine.
I love asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because I`m still looking for ideas.
In grade school it’s called bullying but when you get older it’s referred to as upper level management.
Most problems can be solved with nudity.
For Christmas I just want summer...
My laptop has a Miley Virus. It`s stopped twerking.
If you can`t read the bottom of the eye chart, spell something dirty. Eye doctors love that sh!t.
If they made a movie of my life, it would just be a lot of scenes where I`m looking for something to wipe my hands on.
Do the people inside mascot costumes also smile when they have their photos taken?
Fact: You wish Facebook had the middle finger button.
Why do people freak out about dolphins getting caugh in tuna nets? What about the tuna?