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Relationship status: I get the remote to myself!
Has anyone ever seen a gorilla in the mist? Some of the local drivers struggle to see my car in perfect daylight conditions, so I doubt that they`d spot a Gorilla in limited visibility!!!!!
I saw a poor old lady fall over today, at least I presume she was poor, she only had $ 1,20 in her purse
Some people should use a glue stick instead of a chap stick.
"Karate" is an old Japanese word that means, "My kid can`t hit a baseball."
Life is so unfair, why do we always want what we don`t have? For example, right now I want tacos
I really like my new electric toothbrush, even though sometimes, I still break out the acoustic.
The older I get, the more I enjoy being bored.
I hate taking down Christmas decorations just to put up Halloween decorations...
If someone says “you’re funny” instead of laughing, you’re not.
I say ” I shouldn’t be telling you this,” at the beginning of every conversation so people will listen to what I’m saying.
Most of my colleagues and friends can`t spell colleagues or friends.
"It`s not about who`s right or wrong."~ The person that is wrong
I don’t care if it’s 1 A.M. I don’t consider it “tomorrow” until I wake up.
has a Massive drinking problem ... there is no alcohol in the house!