Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Whats the difference between a phone number & an opinion? People ask for your phone number.
There`s a difference between having a unique name and a common name that`s spelled wrong.
You can steal my status updates whenever you want, but just remember that I lick every single one before I post them...
If you ever Google "Grandfather Clock", be careful how you spell that sh!t.
Just think: right now, your body is cookin` up some poop.
Apparently this Walmart cashier only brushes her favorite teeth.
My Bills are so big that I have to call them William now.
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.
My sleep number is 151 ... Bacardi 151
We all have that friend who acts innocent but understands all the dirty jokes.
Where have you been all my life? ... Please go back there.
You donβt truly know someone until you see how they react to their bag of chips getting stuck in a vending machine
Whoever said "nothing is impossible" never tried to nail JELL-O to a tree.
B!tch life isn`t a garden ... So stop being a hoe!
Please be patient...I`m fcuking things up as fast as I can.