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So they say that having to much sex can cause memory loss, which is just a little something I seem to remember reading in a Rolling Stone magazine once on page 64 paragraphs 3 through 5 while sitting on a park bench October 14th 2002 at 3:46 p.m
I know you people are crazy. I can spot my own kind a mile away.
Sometimes I stand in the shower for 10 minutes before I remember what I`m supposed to be doing. So, yes your secrets are safe with me.
My neighbors look at me in a very weird way.. it’s like they never saw a guy with binoculars before.
Toilets are really just fart amplifiers when you are trying to be quiet.
You know what’s huge in Japan? ..Sumo wrestlers. ;)
When I was a kid, I wanted to be an adult. So yeah...kids are stupid.
Did Humpty Dumpty sue them motherf*ckers for making that wall so high?
When someone shows you they don`t want to be a part of your life, let them go. I`m not saying you can`t make a voodoo doll of them, though.
I try not to laugh at my own jokes. But we all know I`m hilarious.
Please don`t mistake my personality for flirting. Just because I`m awesome doesn`t mean I like you.
Sometimes I wish you could order Karma like flowers and have it delivered.
I wan`t you to know that someone cares. not me, but someone.
What do you mean casual Friday does not mean drink wine and get drunk at work
The Wizard of Oz is the ultimate chick flick. It`s about two women trying to kill each other over shoes.