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A baby`s laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear, Unless it`s 3am. And you don`t have a baby, And you`re home alone.
You know you are getting old when you see girls from TEEN category moved to MATURE & MILFS.
Whatever you do in life, always give 100%…unless you’re donating blood…
If I ignored you any harder, we`d be married.
I love nostalgia. Not sure what it means, but it reminds me of magical words from my childhood.
i dont drink any more and yet again i dont any less either
Sometimes my kid likes me, but I`m pretty sure it`s only because I`m his Oreo dealer.
Maybe America will believe in global warming if we make it a Snapple Fact.
When I say “Nevermind.” I really mean you should’ve listened the first time.
If I get an e-mail from you that says "Sent from my Blackberry" at the bottom, please understand that I`m not going to respond. I can only assume that you sent it in 2006.
Have you tried complaining about it for hours?
I bought a book called `How to become an expert at Origami`. So far, I`ve made 1000 paper snowballs.
Pokémon means a totally different thing if you`re stuck in prison.
Divorce... The most common home improvement project.
Milk Duds: When you want some candy but also crave a dislocated jaw