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I`m pretty sure all dogs can smell drugs. It`s just that most of them aren`t snitches.
Hey Samsung and Apple, no need for commercials. We’ve all chosen sides.
You know something bad is about to happen when someone says "Hold my beer and watch this."
I must say I enjoy it more when a girl asks me out. To me, there`s nothing more attractive than that high level of confidence, initiative, and poor judgment.
I have been tagged and poked so many times today, I may not be able to walk tomorrow.
There are 3 levels of pain. 1. Pain 2. Excruciating pain 3. Stepping on a Lego
I hate it when people are holding a device capable of using google and they ask me stupid questions.
pumpkin for sale, slightly used
I can’t even imagine the self control required to work at a bubble wrap factory.
I just saw a man salute the Budweiser truck on the highway. LMAO
If tit for tat doesn`t mean flashing guys with tattoos, than I`ve been doing it wrong this whole time.
Time to be an adult and give up my bath time rubber ducky. I´m upgrading to the tugboat!
Don`t judge a person for drinking; judge a person for not drinking. Those f*ckers are up to something.
I’m trying to read a book about how to relax, but I keep falling asleep
It`s always fun to act like you don`t see the person running to catch the elevator your in just as the door starts closing.