Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Organized people are just too lazy to look for things!
Are you watching too much T.V but not doing enough reading? Turn your subtitles on.
Drunk is when you feel sophisticated but can’t pronounce it.
I`m a bitch ... What`s your excuse?
One of my biggest fears is that my car secretly records me singing.
Ordering a water with lemon says “I’m too cheap to buy a drink, but I still like a little zing.”
Figure it out people. It’s a 4-way stop sign not a woman.
Facebook: Making stalking people much more convenient since 2004.
The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase Regards again.
I changed siri to a male voice and now my car keeps taking me to strip clubs and auto parts stores
Remember all those times I said "wow, that`s cool!"? What I really meant was, "shut the f*ck up, I hate you."
WOULD YOU RATHER: have six arms or giant antlers? (You don’t really get a choice; the surgeons were just sort of curious.)
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don’t know. Inspirational statuses are hard.
I’m jealous of a book character for having sex with another character but sure come ask my advice about your marriage.
I`m posing nude for an art class. No one asked me to. I think they`re making ceramic bowls.