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Waffles are just pancakes with abs.
I called one of those numbers in the bathroom stall and my wife answered. Very funny guys.
Tomorrow I will live in the moment, unless it`s unpleasant, in which case I will eat a cookie.
I’m what you would call “indoorsy”
Sign: "No alcohol past this point." Translation: Bet you can`t chug this entire beer, right now.
Girls here`s how to tell if a guy wants you for sex - 1: He does
Happy 4th of July ... U can toss out the Christmas tree now
Game of Thrones characters should have to wear jerseys with their names on the back
Well, today was a complete waste of clean clothes.
I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I`m not an actor.
Part of me wants to help you with your crisis, but part of me wants to go to happy hour.
HR wants me to give myself a self evaluation. This will be the first and last time they make this mistake.
My Tupperware lids and single socks are chilling somewhere laughing at me.
Just been on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies. Is that a trick question?
Cocaine dealers are always trying to stick their business in other people`s noses.