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If you take Viagra with iron supplements it will cause you spin around and point North.
"There`s nothing sexier than a chick that knows how to work on cars" -Dudes, trying to get us to do that job too.
You know something bad is about to happen when someone says "Hold my beer and watch this."
How do you know you`re old? ... Check your glove box for paper maps ...
Does anyone else have a plastic bag full of plastic bags in their house, or is it just me?
If my kids knew there was a light in the oven, they`d leave that one on too.
My Ex-Wife: Our relationship is like being in prison! ME: I don’t think so. People have sex in prison.
Although tequila is highly toxic, it can be used to dissolve the friend zone.
Every day is a constant battle of trying to convince myself I don’t like cookies.
I`m great at making pancakes and women uncomfortable.
What idiot called it a driver`s test and not a Game of Cones?
Instead of walking faster when someone holds a door open for me, I slow down to test their door holding resolve.
I see you’re playing stupid. Looks like you’re winning too.
Why do people at home on TV have their pants on?
Just backed into a Jaguar but I left him a note on my bank statement so he knows not to bother calling