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I`m trying to save up enough money to one day afford to save up money.
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn`t hire stupid people......
If I pay $30 for a haunted house I better die.
Before having any kids make sure you’re done sleeping and doing things you like to do.
if you hold a dinner fork really close to your eyes, you can pretend that they`re in jail
I`m such a thrill seeker, when I see a ‘Caution, Wet Floor’ sign, I walk faster...
Is it bad that "WINE" is always on my grocery list? At the top? In all caps?
Can I have a free unlimited day trial of being attractive?
I`m combining Easter and April Fools day this year - I`m sending the kids out to look for eggs I haven`t hidden.
Are the unmarried employees at Kraft known as Kraft singles?
What if there actually is one legit Nigerian millionaire prince who genuinely needs to use your bank account?
My name is Fred and I`m a survivor. If you are out there..if anyone is out there. I can provide food/shelter..Anybody please....U are not alone....
Facebook should make it to where it says, `Went from being in a relationship` to `Problem solved.`
I did a terrible job preparing for my Blue Man Group audition and boy is my face red
When 12 year old girls call each other honey and sweet heart...