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Haters are my motivators(:
Welcome to Alzheimer`s Club. I see a lot of new faces today.
At my age I can no longer function without my glasses. Especially when they`re empty.
If a bra is called an `over the shoulder bolder holder`, then what would you call men underwear? Under the butt nut hut
Forget drugs and sex. Parents please talk to your kids about their grammar and spelling.
Detroit and Chicago seem to be getting it right as of late. Limit all politicians to two terms. One in elected Office and one in prison.
Shopping at the Dollar Tree makes me feel rich and poor at the same time
A new study suggests that a future study will completely contradict this study.
Five little words that will win my heart, "I brought beer and pizza."
I found a real money maker in selling homing pigeons....... So far this month I sold mine 4 times.
lf the people in the movies listened to me, they would still be alive.
Boss just announced she is leaving early. What a coincidence. So am I.
I hate it when TV shows say they contain "adult situations" but then don`t show anyone going to a job they hate, and paying their bills.
"Half a dozen" because saying `6` is way too long...
I have a tattoo of a gigantic bruise on my left ankle in case anyone ever asks me to go hiking. Or help them move.