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I love a good nap. Sometimes it`s the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning.
The only Spanish phrase you need to learn is, "I know you guys are talkin sh*t about me."
When I see people jogging outside I like to drive behind them slowly blasting Eye of the Tiger for motivation.
Groundhog Day, Just walked outside and saw my shadow, It`s now official, Six more weeks of dieting :/
Never cry over spilt milk. It could`ve been whiskey.
Well, the people outside are frightful.
The woman that just drove past me was either doing a huge yawn or her brakes have failed....
Never call a woman crazy because she will say, āIām not crazy!ā and then go and do something crazy. Probably with matches.
My body is made up of 90% water, 5% pizza and 5% wine.
"Lets hang out sometime" -liars.
I thought about exercising all day long. I am so exhausted.
I would not mind living next to a serial killer. They never kill the neighbor. He`s the one that`s always on the news later saying "He was a quite guy, never really talked to anyone." Wait a minute ... I don`t talk to my neighbors!
u cant spell awesome without me
I don`t know what I`d do without coffee...Probably twenty five to life in the state penitentiary.
I`m making a list of regrets. Just to be sure I`m accurate, how do you spell your name again?