Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Taco Bell is donating burritos to feed firefighters in Colorado. Talk about putting gas on the fire,
Laugh if you will but this night-light has an undefeated record at repelling Boogeymen.
My body keeps doing these muscle twitches like it wants me to get off this couch and move around. HAHAHAHA. As if.
I bought my Ex a chair ... But the state won`t let me plug it in.
If I weren´t such an alcoholic I would throw my drink in your face
What do they give the person that has everything? antibiotics
I bet it’s called Almond Milk, because no one would buy Nut Juice.
I keep graphic, full frontal nude pictures of myself on my cell phone in case anyone ever hacks it. That`ll teach `em.
Somebody told me I need adult supervision. I was like "I Know!" It would be awesome to be able to see through walls and shoot lasers out my eyes.
“I demand a recount.” – Me, in a nugget dispute at McDonald’s.
They don`t even serve apples at Applebee`s. Or bees.
Why isn`t Wendy`s girl fat? You would think that someone who eats so many Baconators, chicken sandwiches and other burgers, would be quite the porker by now.
People in Detroit call Grand Theft Auto V "Tuesday"
Man:Hello doc, my wife is having a baby. Doctor:Is this the first child? Man:No, it`s the husband speaking.
Would you like a push on that mood swing of yours?