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People who try to test my patience don`t realize it`s an exam I don`t plan on passing
Checklist: Poke People ? Delete People ? Block People ? Send Friend Requests ? Accept Friend Requests ? Ignore Chats ? Make Stupid Photoshop Pics With My Face ?....Morning chores all done.
The best way to scare a man is to use the urinal stall next to him. This works exceptionally well if you are a woman.
My new years resolution is to try to actually finish someth
I`m a Leader not a follower. Unless it`s a dark place...then you`re going first!
Even though I`m only 29, I know I`m going to die a bitter, lonely, miserable old man ... I`m married.
Call me crazy, but the last person who did is still in a full body cast, so it`s up to you.
Putting a light in the refrigerator is God`s way of telling us that it`s okay to eat before going to bed.
No matter what life brings you, always take a lesson from your dog.. Kick some grass over that s**t and move on.
? Single ? Taken ? Depends on who`s asking.
My parents never allowed violent video games. Just family-friendly board games with questions like, "Who murdered this guy with a pipe?"
why were you in my dreams again? i`m starting to think you`re stalking me.
I`m only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand
Pumpkin for sale! [slightly used]
Nothing makes me more productive than the last minute.