Daily Silly Status

If a dentist makes money off people with unhealthy teeth, why should I trust a toothbrush that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?

Why do men fart more than women? Because women can`t shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

I was asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently, "A way out" wasn`t the right answer.

I`d rather spend 5 minutes reorganizing the dishwasher, than spend the 10 seconds it takes to wash the dish that doesn`t fit.

To the 84yo woman that won the $591 million dollar PowerBall, sup baby ;)

All other things being equal, tall people use more soap.

Is it weird to get naked during a massage? At what point can I ask the masseuse to put his pants back on?

My wife is complaining that I never buy her jewelry. In my defense, I didn`t even know she sold jewelry.

Running is the best way to remind yourself how much you love sitting.

Thank you Pringles for being the only chip company that doesn`t sell air.

It deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pcale. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a pobelrm. Tihs is buseace the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Tihs wulod not be psibsole if yuor sutipd. I hpoe for yuor skae you wree albe to raed tihs or taht maens yuor an idoit or barin dmagaed.

A fun part of your 40s is waking up thinking you`re hungover, and then remembering, nope, this is just how my body feels now.

Man:Hello doc, my wife is having a baby. Doctor:Is this the first child? Man:No, it`s the husband speaking.

The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they´re going to be when you kill them.

If you`re feeling bored, find a group photo of four girls on instagram and then comment "you three look great!" Wait and grab popcorn.