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I plan on getting "sidewalk nap" drunk tonight.
You call the shots. I`ll drink them.
i never said i knew what i was doing, i said i was going to do it anyway :)
I have two feelings, it`s either "I`m hungry" or "I shouldn`t have eaten this much"
All bad decisions are ultimately made using the same piece of resounding logic: “Screw it.”
Hey Journey, I stopped believing. What now?
At least thirty percent of my workout is spent picking a different song.
Whenever I`m out somewhere there is a 99% chance I am thinking about going home and sleeping.
To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes great subway sandwiches.
If all the worlds a stage and the men and women merely players, how come Justin Bieber gets all the airtime?
Why is the jolly Green giant so damn jolly
Living with a child is like using a blender with no lid...
I need to find a woman that loves me for my money....but doesn`t understand math. (<>..,<>)
A sure cure for sea-sickness is to sit under a tree.
When I die, I’d like someone to keep updating my Facebook status, just to freak people out… “Hey, who knew they had Wi-Fi up here?”