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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

*wants to travel the world but has like 3 dollars*
I`m not shy. I`m just being quiet because I know that if I open my mouth to speak, a flow of never- ceasing, insulting comment directed at you will immediately spew from within me.
my Dr. says i have ADHD, i dont know how they see.... oooooh a squirrel!
Thanks, resealable packaging, but I think we both know that won`t be necessary.
My favorite drinking game is drinking.
You can tell by a woman`s feet how she feels about you. If they are behind her ears, she likes you.
Pringles should make their containers like a Push Up Pop.
At this point Washington DC is basically just an elaborate promotional stunt for Grand Theft Auto V.
Not trying to be racist or ignorant but... seriously, all crocodiles and alligators look alike.
According to WebMD, people are Sick & Tired of me
Today is National animals day, please take a moment to remember your ex :p:p:p.
"Omg. Why does this store have so many naked pictures of me?"... "Sir those are mirrors, and we`re gonna have to ask you to leave."
Check this one out.........1
Friday Night Inspirational Message: You miss 100% of the shots you don`t drink.
Dropped my son off for his first day of kindergarten today. Does anybody know what age you`re supposed to pick them up?