Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
So I´ve narrowed it down and I´m either gonna start a motorcycle gang or take a nap.
I love the way everyone who uses hand sanitizer looks like they`re hatching some kind of evil plan.
Apparently, the answer "I Know" is not a good answer when your friend tells you how good his girlfriend is in bed
Married 24 years now. All I recall about my wedding day is something about death.
Summer is real cool until every f*ckin type of insect comes out of the 8th circle of hell.
You know what’s more annoying than cops? People who buy old refurbished cop cars and keep the spotlight attached. We all hate you.
As a man, I honor Christopher Columbus every day of the year by refusing to ask for directions.
Suggested movie theater prices: Adults - $9.00, Under 12 - $ 6.00, Under 3 - $249.00
If I ever sound inspriational, one of us is drunk.
Do you remember that creepy guy who stood behind you on a train 6 years ago and was smelling your hair? Hi!
Any time you feel lonely, remember, its your fault nobody likes you.
I`m just saying a sarcasm font could go a loooong way!
Why is there a show called "When animals attack"? It should be called "When stupid people go near dangerous animals."
I organized a threesome last night....there were a couple of no shows, but I still had a good time
I bet Eve bit that apple because she knew she was going to get a bunch of clothes out of it.