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If you keep doing what you´ve always done, you´ll keep getting what you´ve always gotten.
Today I gave up procrastination for Lent.
I went to McDonald`s to grab my boys a couple of Happy meals. The guy serving me says "Would you like a Boy Toy"? I was like, "listen hear you little sh!t, you couldn`t handle me if you tried"!! What is this world coming too... :))
It`s all good and well until the fecal matter impacts the electric powered air current generation device.....
You should get at least 8 hours of beauty sleep... 9 if you`re an ugly bitch...
The art of taking a self pic fast enough that no one sees you. The Stealthfie.
Screw you recommended serving size. You don’t know me.
I`m not antisocial. I`m pro leave-me-the-hell-alone.
Pringles should make their containers like a Push Up Pop.
The best thing about hand sanitiser is that when you put it on, it looks like you are plotting to take over the world.
If my fridge had glass doors I would still stand there and hold the door open.
I don’t mean to brag but when I’m at the Taco Bell drive thru placing my order, I don’t even look at the prices.
OMG, what a day I had. If Monday was a guy, I`d punch him in the throat!
Guys be like, "Lets play 21 question." Girl: Ok, what`s your favorite color? Boy: Triangle, so you a virgin?
You know, rumor has it that the Mona Lisa may have been the first selfie.