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I don`t wanna make this weird but that`s just kinda how I do things.
Actually, The quickest way to fix that annoying noise in your car is ... Just open the door and push her out.
Roses are red vilouts are blue your moms beautiful what happened to you!
"I`m sorry" and "I apologise" mean the same thing...except when you`re at a funeral.
I`m now at the age where if I see a nice nursing home, I make a mental note of it.
Christmas is all about getting your entire dysfunctional family under one roof, hoping the cops don`t get called and nobody gets arrested.
Today`s Generation: "Omg my parents never let me have anything." via iPhone
Was late to my first Fight Club last night so missed the intro rules. Still, Fight Club was brilliant and I`d highly recommend Fight Club.
I don’t think girls realize how handsome my mom says I am.
I`m emotionally constipated. I haven`t given a crap in days...
I`m old enough to remember being the tv remote.
When I rule the world, it will be illegal to have an opinion until you`ve proven that you are not an idiot.
The awkward moment when you type HO instead of HI.
I don`t understand the saying "you snooze you lose"... I hit the snooze button 8 times this morning and feel like a champion.
Sometimes you just see a post and think, "Yup it`s your own fault."