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If this world got any smaller I`d probably fall off - George T. Ignace
Live in the moment. Unless the moment sucks. Then live on Facebook.
If you play any Taylor Swift song backwards you`ll hear messages from the devil, however even worse........... if you play it forwards, you`ll hear Taylor Swift
I have no problem giving credit when credit is due. It’s giving payment when payment is due that I seem to struggle with.
Dont piss me off...I`ll give your number to all the kids and tell them it`s Santa`s hot line!
You are on the list of the many things I would do for a Klondike bar.
My boss called me lazy and said I had poor communication skills... I almost responded
Marriage. Because otherwise hating someone for turning the page of a newspaper too loudly would seem absurd
I fake my LOLs
I wonder when people without cars pick their noses…
The dollar store needs to go ahead and open up a few gas stations.
If you think about it, before the first mirror was invented, if you didn’t live near a body of water, you had no idea what you looked like.
DAAAAY-OH! DAAaay-oh! Monday come and me wanna go home.
Arm wrestling is DEFINITELY the manliest sport where Two dudes hold hands...
True love is when you burn your tongue when you take a bite from a pizza and you still keep eating it.