Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Karate is just a violent way of making people smell your feet.
The statement ‘Hey! Calm down!’ has a zero to no success rate of getting someone to calm down.
To the 84yo woman that won the $591 million dollar PowerBall, sup baby ;)
There`s a sense of great satisfaction when I`m the tie breaker between `Funny` and `Not Funny` status updates.
I`m glad the Dentist calls me the day before to remind me to cancel my appointment.
And then I was all: “I’m really getting sick of your shit, bitch.” And then she was all: “To speak with a representative please press 7.”
I`m sorry if I looked interested. You probably caught me fantasizing about bacon.
Just once I want to see a car with one woman sticker and twelve cat stickers.
I`d get lost less frequently if GPS would say "no, your other left."
I need chapstick on my lips ... anyone want to share ?
They say you are what you eat. I don`t remember eating a sexy beast this morning...
There is no vulnerable feeling like when you are about to sneeze ... with a mouthful of rice.
After reading some marriage post, I`m beginning to suspect we all may have been married to the same person.
When someone tells you they`re playing a STD game... But you later realise they were talking about Spot The Difference.
There’s no excuse for laziness.. but if you find one, let me know.