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Today I think I`ll go to a public restroom and wait until someone leaves, then click your stopwatch and write something down in a notebook.
Now that my kids are getting older, I`m worried I`ll never have the opportunity to leave my wife for the nanny.
I really need a day between Saturday and Sunday.
Every-time I run I hear Mario Brothers theme song in my head, and look for things to jump over.
My husband has a blanket pulled up over his face. I think this means he wants me to talk to him.
went to see the conjuring, and now there`s 10 crosses, four bibles, and a poster of Chuck Norris in my room.
I`m growing a mullet to test our friendship.
No one can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it ;)
I hear boomerangs are making a comeback.
I don`t post a lot of personal statuses - but when I do it`s all about you ..
Over the weekend I pulled a muscle getting off the couch to fetch more Doritos.
Which one of you is Moderation? I keep getting told we need to drink together.
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole....
People go on and on about the length of Subway`s sandwiches but how come nobody talks about their girth?
Just gave the Earth a one-star rating and a bad review on TripAdvisor to discourage any aliens that were planning an invasion.