Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Summer is here. I`m in the process of moving all my bad habits outside.
Told my kids next time I take their electronics away I`d also be responding to all texts they receive. They`ve been well behaved since.
Next time you order coffee at Starbucks tell them your name is Bueller and then leave the store.
Lord, grant me the courage to be the person I am under my breath.
Ya know u would never know u where happy if u never had bad memory.
Everyone knows spray tans and Tang come from the same stem cells as Cheetos, so why does Wikipedia keep deleting my edits?
There`s a lot of perks being a single parent, for one no witnesses.
Tomorrow is Valentines day, a holiday that comes along once a year to remind you that if you don`t have a special someone...I guess your alone.
Seth Rogen and James Franco having their movie pulled due to terrorist threats sounds like the plot of a Seth Rogen and James Franco movie.
Wisdom for the day is , hot cheetos are not breakfast.
Fashion is what you call hideous clothes that are really expensive
You`re about as deep as a kiddies splash-pool..
Birth control pills should really be made for men. It makes more sense to unload a gun than to shoot a bulletproof vest.
I`m on a whiskey diet. So far I`ve lost 3 days.
Don’t you hate when the person you’re Facebook-stalking never updates anything.