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I hear Internet Explorer 10 is going to allow you to download and install Firefox up to three times faster.
If you use karate instead of a knife your wife won`t ask you to cut the vegetables anymore
My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking. One cleaning.
Just noticed there`s no comma in "Bed Bath & Beyond" and honestly, a bed bath would solve a lot of my problems.
We Should Have A Way Of Telling People Their Breath Stinks Without Hurting Their Feelings. Like: "I`m bored, let`s go brush our teeth"
Junk- something you keep for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
I eat a whole pizza before I go to the gym, because a good workout begins with low self-esteem.
At a wedding reception I recently attended someone said, "All the married men please stand next to the person who has made your life worth living." The bartender was nearly crushed to death.
Part of me says I can´t keep drinking like this. The other part of me says, "Don´t listen to that guy. He´s drunk."
Two can play that game...` -people who dont understand that`s how games usually work
Whoever determined that a 1-inch candy bar should be called " fun size" should really re-evaluate their stanards of entertainment.
My wife just changed here facebook status from "Married" to "widowed", should I be scared?
Just heard a lady say "When in doubt, get a pizza"... I don`t know who this woman is but she`s my new life coach.
Tips for Guys on Valentine`s Day: Tell your girl you already got something and make her guess. She`ll automatically list things she wants.
Women say all men are dogs, but fail to realize that dogs are the most loyal creatures in the world if you treat them right.